My mom and her birthday cakes, so far.
(The sorting of photos is far from complete.)
Without thinking ahead, I have started several blogs over the last seven years, mostly because I got hooked on buying domain names I like. A new domain called for a new blog, or so I thought, and pretty soon, it got complicated. Shortly after that, life got complicated and my blogs took a back seat.
The heartbreak of my dad’s death in 2018 preceded the shock of my mom’s death in 2019, just seven weeks after being told she had pancreatic cancer. That entire eleven months is now a blur, although bits and pieces come to me out of nowhere, like the time the Hospice nurse told my brother and I we were the best caretakers she had ever seen. When I think of specific moments like that, it does not seem like such a blur, which motivates me to write down everything that comes to me. And I can’t tell you how many times my dad said to me, “Write it down,” about anything and everything. He said it a lot.
I flew back home on February 2, 2020, four months after my mom died. It was hard for me to leave her house – where she died and where her footprints from when she was fifteen years old are imprinted on the storm cellar’s cement roof – and I am so grateful that Dave was super understanding during this time. I did fly in for two weeks at Thanksgiving and Dave flew to Oklahoma for two weeks at Christmas. It was then that he quietly and lovingly asked, “When ya comin home?”
I felt like something inside of me was screaming, “Snap me out of it, please!”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” another part of me wanted to demand. Wait a minute, he’s not telling me what to do. He is asking for an answer.
I wondered how I could go back to Florida and pick my life up where I left off, when I don’t even know where I left off. I wanted to wonder what life would be like, now that everything had changed, but lacked the courage to actually do it. Never would I have imagined that what was to come, could happen here.
Dave and I are fortunate. So far, our lives have been changed on probably the smallest scale. Mandatory masks and businesses changing their hours, particularly banks, we have felt, and really, so what. In the beginning though, it was hard to wrap our heads around the sense of closing the boat ramps, and we really did not like that. Again, so what.
So what I am doing here is uncomplicating things. I am getting all my posts in one place, adding new posts from old photos and adding new photos of me and my old man. After I have transferred everything, the old blogs will be deleted. To follow my blog, please be sure to subscribe below, even if you have subscribed to one of my other blogs, as all the content on other linked sites will be moved to this site.
Please enter your email address and click “Follow” to be notified of new posts. And if you do, I thank you!
Q-Who could mean many things to you. Me, I see a sentimental manager selling stuff from my parent’s estate and striving to save my sanity while it’s still not too late.
Amazed by the mental weight the over-accumulation of stuff has had on me, I decided to write about it.
Overwhelmed by the apparent inability to decide the fate of stuff, I decided to write about it.
Saddened by the sudden losses we have had in such a short time, I decided to write about it.
Q-Who is where I write of these things.
Quite a bit, lately, I have been hearing, “We make plans and God laughs,” and although I like it okay as a saying, I do not truly believe that. More so, I believe that, “We make plans and God Ponders.” Then He laughs.
I believe that God laughs in either one of two ways – the kind that happens when you are standing in a circle with your buddies who are all for your plans, or the kind that happens while conversing with your parents who do not ever seem to understand. God either laughs like a friend, saying, “Go for it, man,” or He laughs like a parent who says, “No, I don’t think so.” The type of laugh we hear from God depends on whether or not our plans fit with His Plans for us.
God loves his children so much that He tries to make our plans work with His Plans. As long as His Will is done in the end, then I believe He laughs like a friend. If not, well then, He laughs more like a parent who knows better than to let us mess up our life or His Plans for us, which probably affect countless others other than just ourselves. And I believe that before God laughs one of these laughs, He Ponders how our plan works with His Plan and how He can make His Plans our plans.
I had all kinds of plans in October of 2018. Inviting my parents to go with me and my husband on our 25th anniversary trip to North Carolina was not one of them, despite Dave’s suggestion to do so. I was furious. “You must not want to spend alone time with me if you want to bring my parents,” I halfway yelled at him. He says it was not that way at all, that he merely commented on how it’s a three-story house, and there is plenty of room if we wanted to invite my parents. We wouldn’t even notice they were there unless we wanted to.
It simply crossed his mind because my mom had been talking for years about wanting to do exactly what we were getting ready to do, stay in a log cabin in the mountains of North Carolina, surrounded by waterfalls. Well I nixed the idea immediately. And for more than a year I have been wondering if everything could be different today, had I just brought my parents to the mountains with us.
Perhaps my dad would not have come down with pneumonia. Perhaps he would not have gotten that blood clot in his leg. Perhaps he would not have suddenly died a week after we got back.
I wonder how God laughed at my plans back then.
As it turned out, my assistance today was not needed, And some old advice I had heard, I heeded – “Too many cooks in the kitchen,” or something like that, So I asked my brother to take me back, I have a lot to do before I pack, Oh wait – pack? That I don’t have to do, Because of everything I need, I now have two.
One here and one there, Except when it comes to under-wear, it’s more like ten pair. Even my bible and Amazon fire stick, I ordered both on Prime and they got here quick.
But anyway, Like I was about to say, It worked out how it was supposed to – today, Even the bulletin, it was meant to be that way, And so Adam thought it was Wednesday. It was God’s way of speaking to me, He knew that was what I needed to see. And thank you Sharon, for your text, I hope your day is super-blessed!
This morning it was crystal clear, I could respond in love or react in fear. I awoke with an attitude, That unfortunately, was very rude, I thought, “I don’t have time to help decorate, Because once again, I am running late. Behind schedule, I am, on all I wanted done Before heading to Florida and soaking up the sun.” But now, I am ecstatic to say, That my mood did not stay that way, And grateful, I am, to know better today And to say to myself – “HEY! It’s okay. Stop reacting in fear, start responding in love And look for help from heaven above. So I did and it’s been a much better day, And don’t worry guys, the Christmas Cheer Squad is on the way!
To the football game, I was not going to go, And then I realized, it could be the last one with my bro. A play-off game, it was last night, And the Waurika Eagles were out of sight! I am very glad went, even though it also meant I did not get to my poem, but my jewelry mess, I made a dent.
So yes, there will be another game since they won, But I will be in Florida soaking up the sun. I will be back though in just two weeks, And I hope to be in the stands and jump up on my feet When the cheerleaders command the Eagles’ fans with their beat!